The story
Zenaida Willison, whom Julia calls Ate Zen (“elder sister” in Tagalog), spent her career in disaster risk reduction, at a regional training center in Asia and at the United Nations. Today she still advises the Center for Disaster Preparedness, teaches environmental health, and runs an organic farm with her husband in Batangas.
As a young idealist in the 1970s, she joined a movement for change, helping people understand the poverty and loss of basic rights around them. At 24 she was put in prison. She stayed there for 801 days and was moved from cell to cell, four or five times.
“You can imprison my body, but not my mind.”
The skill at work: Self-Regulation (Skill 8)
Self-Regulation is the skill of staying grounded when the storm is outside your control. Zen could not choose her walls, her guards or her release date. She could choose what she held on to.
She drew a line around what was still hers
Every day in prison brought new changes and new rules. What kept her going was one thought: the walls decided where she sat, but they did not decide what she believed. “My mind is still free.”
She anchored herself in a bigger purpose
Zen held on to the idea that society gets better when enough people are willing to sacrifice. That idea, she says, kept her and others “alive and not depressed.” The hardship had a meaning, and the meaning steadied her.
She kept her perspective
She grew up watching her father, the village health helper, stay up late to care for people who came down from the mountains. In prison she told herself that her own sacrifice was small next to what her parents gave. She did not shrink her suffering. She put it in proportion.
She did not stand alone
Many people were imprisoned with her. They spent their time studying, learning and sharing their views. And outside, her young daughter was waiting. “I have to survive, because I have a daughter to take care of.”
She found her ground again when the next storm came
Release was not the end. As a single parent she had to find a way to live with very little, with help from family and friends. Later, a book led her to faith, and she found a deeper calm: “God is bigger than what I thought.”
She looks back without regret
Her dream for her country has not come true yet, but she believes it will in time. What she treasures most are the friendships with people who shared the same dream.
Try this
Think of a situation you cannot control right now. Write two lists: what it can take from you, and what it cannot. Then choose one thing from the second list to hold on to this week.
More stories
Staying grounded in the jungle: Edwin Song’s story of Self-Regulation →
A New Rock on My Back Every Day: Thomas De Brun’s story of Self-Regulation →
This article is our interpretation of Zen’s story, based on the conversation on The Adaptive Edge Podcast. The framework names are ours; the events and lessons are her own.