The story
Thomas De Brun, CEO and Founder of Wolfhound Influence, is from Ireland and now lives in Guangdong, China. He has about 40 years of international experience as a coach, trainer and, more recently, AI advisor.
In 2019 he was newly married and working as a trainer in Hong Kong. Within a year his training work had dried up, COVID had closed the border between him and his wife, his savings were gone, and a startup he had helped for the promise of equity let him go. For a while he slept on a concrete warehouse floor with no power.
“It was as if I had a new rock put on my back every day, and I had to keep walking up a hill.”
The skill at work: Self-Regulation (Skill 8)
Self-Regulation is the skill of staying grounded when the storm is outside your control. Thomas could not end COVID or open the border. He could decide what state he would be in each morning.
He named the fear, and did not let it decide
“There was a constant fear of losing everything,” Thomas says, and it would have been easy to fall into depression. Friends suggested he go home to Ireland. He chose not to, because it would take him further from his wife.
He held on to a clear picture of the future
Every morning he knew where he wanted to be: in China, with his wife, building a business. A powerful vision with a strong emotion behind it got him up on the hardest days.
He fed his mind on purpose
He set up a spare laptop in the bathroom, playing motivational talks on a loop, and tried to learn something new every day.
He built habits that kept him in peak state
He exercised every day and did breath work. The biggest change came from meditation: “I had a bigger picture of what life was all about and was less stressed.” He keeps all three habits today.
He kept giving while he was struggling
Even with almost nothing, he would buy a sandwich or a bottle of water for someone on a park bench who had even less. He leaned on family and friends, and later paid back every kindness.
He came back stronger
Thomas finally crossed the border and rejoined his wife. Looking back, he calls it his own hero’s journey. He is more grateful for a soft pillow and a decent lunch than ever before.
Try this
Pick one storm in your life right now. Write down the picture of the future you are walking toward. Then choose one small daily habit, five minutes of breathing, a walk, or a short meditation, and keep it every day this week.
More stories
Staying grounded in the jungle: Edwin Song’s story of Self-Regulation →
A Mind No Wall Could Hold: Zenaida Willison’s story of Self-Regulation →
This article is our interpretation of Thomas’s story, based on the conversation on The Adaptive Edge Podcast. The framework names are ours; the events and lessons are his own.